So since this has all ended, I just want to say thank you.

Thank you for the smeared makeup on my pillow for weeks straight.

Thank you for all the lies I had to tell my friends and family.

Thank you for promising me things only to break them the next day.

Thank you for the lack of trust in others I now have.

But most importantly, thank you for showing me I'm better off without you, and showing me what I don't want.

I knew with you it would be easy. I knew you'd tell me you liked me, and I knew you'd change your mind once you got bored. I knew when you moved on to the next girl just like everyone said you would, I would spend weeks crying. Wondering what I did wrong and why I wasn't good enough. I knew I'd sit on the floor gasping for air, wondering if it was ever going to end. I knew it. 

I just didn't want to believe it.

I knew it was over before the words were even spoken. Why I didn't get up and leave your sorry ass before then I still don't know. But I came to this conclusion. If you've ever had one of those times when you've clutched a pen or something else in your hand for a long time, only to look down and be surprised that you are still holding it a long time after you needed it. Then you'll understand sometimes we get so used to holding it that we forget to let go.

But you wanna know what I've learned? 

I've learned that sometimes its not okay to forget. Because when you forget you keep making the same mistake. I kept making myself forget how you hurt me.

There comes a point when you have to STOP RELYING ON OTHER PEOPLE TO MAKE YOU FEEL OKAY. You've got to stop saying "I need you". You've got to stop feeling like you can't live without someone. Cause guess what.

You can.

There is no one in this world who knows how to pick you up better than yourself believe it or not. Sometimes there wont be someone who can fix you when your breaking. Sometimes you're just alone. And you know what. That's good. Because if you don't know how to fix yourself when your broken, you won't get anywhere. It'll seem like the worst thing in the world at first, but I was surprised at what I could accomplish.

I want to be alright without you. I want to smile. I want to laugh. I just want to stop lying to myself. 

You have been pulling me down for way too long and I know now it's time to let you go. It's time I stop worrying about you and your feelings.

It's time I think about myself for a change. It's time I treat MYSELF right and leave behind those who don't. It's time I dig myself out of this hole and start all over again with someone who just might be willing to give me the chance you never did.